Remiss

Apologies for being remiss with my blog. I’ve been reading intensely, and recovering from moving. There are a lot of thoughts that won’t ever find their way here just now.

I suppose it had to do with seeing my father’s tombstone. It also had to do with a lack of high speed access. But I just haven’t been able to read anything outside of my project, or think about much of anything very clearly in the last week. It’s amazing how attitudes can get to you.

I haven’t been depressed, but most of the people around me have. It’s a weird sort of cycle. When others are depressed, one almost feels guilty for feeling okay. I’m not really sure about the whole grief-thing myself. I just think about what my father would do in similar situations.

He’d usually just get quiet. You could see the wheels turn in his head, but he’d never tell you what they were. The wheels would stop when something needed to be done. He’d just do it, and then when it was over he’d get quiet again. This method doesn’t suit me as well. I’m a lot louder than my father was.

If there is something on my mind, I say it. Unless there aren’t any words. Lately, there just haven’t been any words.

But I’m fine—except for the guilt over feeling fine.