As to your “method” of work try something different. Take a change from your little fragmentary life-studies on a 5-by-9 paper. Cast about a bit.
My advice to you is to venture, meet some other difficulties, be a real student.
Real students go off the beaten paths, whenever beaten by themselves or by others, and have adventure with the unknown.
There are few students in the schools. They are rare anywhere. And yet it is only the student who dares to take a chance, who has a real good time in life.
But remember that I say it is possible for you to follow your old method and have the adventures and come out all right. It’s altogether what your are able to get out of it.
Be sure that your decisions are really made by yourself. Decisions made by yourself may be of a nature unexpected. In other words, very few people know what they want, very few people know what they think. Many think and do not know it and many think they are thinking and are not thinking.
Self-education is no easy proposition.