I’ve been doing this for a little over two years. I suspect what kept me from starting sooner was the word used to describe it—blogging. I don’t like the word. I think I’ve had a web site for about four years, and my initial aim in constructing one was to provide myself with an exhibition space. Writing in a digital mode has changed me. But was it the form, or was it the writing? There isn’t an easy answer.
People who haven’t been reading me for very long probably get confused. Is this an academic blog? Is it a political blog? Is it a poetry blog? Is it a personal diary blog? I like the description that 2 Blowhards gave it a while ago—a complete cranial environment. It’s whatever I need it to be at the time.
I woke up this morning to the staccato drum of hail the size of a quarter. Turning on the television this afternoon showed a tornado warning for Melbourne (Arkansas, that is). The weather is unsettled, and so am I. There is so much writing to do, and I keep thinking about blogging. It reminded me of my introduction to BurningBird and her righteous indignation over my reduction of her argument that she wasn’t blogging—she got really upset with me. It was a matter of timing, I guess. I had by that time decided that the software had little to do with the form. I’ve become less concerned with the label of “blogging” and more concerned with the creation of public spaces. I have contributed to help her maintain hers. I can’t afford much at this point, but I asked myself if I’d still want to do this as a slave to someone like blogspot, and the answer was no. Independence is a good thing. While it is a different situation than Mark Woods faced, I feel it essential to try to prevent any tornados from uprooting what I’ve begun to see as a sort of neighborhood.
So, what is this? I can only take a pragmatic view. It is a space for writing that I pay a fair amount of rent for. I can move in whatever I like, and move out or delete what I find to be harmful. I’m not sure about the spatial metaphors, but at the same time I don’t see a viable alternative. This is my space. Welcome to my head.
I get nervous when my traffic goes up. Mostly, because I’m afraid that I’ll start writing to please other people instead of myself. So far, that has not been much of a problem. I have no need for a large audience. A small, intelligent one is enough to deal with. I try to provoke questioning mostly because I’m involved in questioning myself—not to change anyone’s mind other than my own, really. So far it’s working well. Thanks for visiting. Increasingly, I feel like this has been one of the greatest thinking exercises I’ve ever done. It’s like a notebook, but it’s a notebook that doesn’t wait until after death to be published. There’s no telling what you might find in it.