Keeping in shape by jumping to conclusions. . .

As I drove to teach my 12pm class, I turned the corner on University Avenue to huge plumes of flame and smoke. It was far enough away that I couldn’t tell what it was. Then it dawned on me. It looked very close to the abortion clinic. I was sure that had to be it, as I cut across the median like everyone else to try to find an alternate route. I took a quick trip through Boyle Park, and made it to class just on time. I’m glad I’m in the habit of leaving early. Coming home a little over an hour later, I decided I’d risk University again so I could see what it was. As I drew nearer, I just kept thinking— that had to be it. There are protesters out front each day, and I was sure some wacko did the deed.

Imagine my surprise when the flaming wreckage turned out to be “Catfish City.” I suppose I could attribute this act of terrorism to PETA, but somehow I just felt a little silly at my conclusion jumping. However, the locations aren’t that far apart. You could easily stuff yourself with hush-puppies and catfish while a friend was getting an abortion; it’s a short walk. However, I reminded myself as I passed that if they torch the place, the “right to life” center will also burn because it’s next door to the clinic.

Silly me. When I got home I checked my e-mail to find a note from my website host:

We would like to inform you that on the 21st of march from 12:00 GMT you may experience some servcie interuptions. This is due to the instalation of a new connection in to our data centre by Easynet. This new connnection is part of our on going developmet strategy to enhance the qulaity of the service you have come to expect from us. As a result you may find your site will be unavailable in certain parts of the world for period of no greater than 12-24 hours.

We thank you in anticapation of your co-operation.

I feel fairly confident in the conclusion that my host is staffed with marginally literate common people. This would explain the qu-laity of my service. Of course I’ll be waiting, in anti-capation, for further developmets. What’s a little disruption of servcie?

Yes, I’m definitely anti- capitation. I don’t want to pay any more taxes on my already meager income.