Holding on

Holding onto things

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who can’t hold a pencil correctly. I’m a dismal failure at pencils, and chopsticks. I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere.

Sometimes, only knowing part of the story doesn’t help. For example, how did the man get seperated from his penis found in the freezer? Uh, was he resting it there to cool down, and have to cut it off to get free? Or, is there some other explanation? Weird stuff. However, some of the news I stumbled on this morning wasn’t quite as funny. A missing 13 year old girl was found tied to a bed by some sick fuck she met on the Internet. Personally, I found the Internet a great tool for meeting people; shit like this is just scary. Maybe it’s having good instincts, or because I’m not a 13 year old girl. Or, perhaps it’s just the way that the media work at spinning the news. CNN has decided to increase it’s journalistic integrity by declaring that Paula Zahn is sexy. That helps me trust her to deliver the truth in a timely fashion.

I’m not sure what the answer is. A high school in Swaziland is requiring chastity pledges, but that does seem a bit odd coming from a King who was fined one cow for violating his own chastity pledge, by marrying a 17 year old girl as his ninth wife.

Enough of this nonsense, next I’ll be talking about the false rumor that Britney Spears is going to pose nude for PETA. Keeping dumb animals safe and all that. Maybe we should protect fat men from the kissing chimp too.

Enough! or too much.