Not laughable, but

About 2:45 a.m. I woke up. It was as if someone had driven a knife from a point just behind my right ear all the way through to my nose. I hate headaches that wake you up. Four Advil. Toss and turn. Peanut butter (hey, it works sometimes). Nothing would assuage my swelling itching brain.

The only treatment that is reasonably effective in stubborn cases like this is a hot bath. It speeds the progress of the pain relievers and opens the sinuses so that perhaps the brain has a little more room. I lit my Catholic prayer candles, not for any spiritual reason, but because the light from the regular fixture hurt my eyes. As I sunk under the water, it occurred to me that these candles had been totally unused since this time last year, when I dug them out during a massive statewide power failure. They didn’t have any special properties, because the damn electricity was out for a week, so I’m sure they have little in the way of curative powers. But water and darkness usually do. I lay motionless underwater for almost half an hour before a thought would finally penetrate my brain.

Ridiculous. Just where did that word come from anyway? I always get that feeling as I wrinkle and shrink under the influence of water. It couldn’t be from getting rid of the dick, which shrinks so suddenly when subjected to water. Besides that, the penis doesn’t really disappear, it just retreats, cowering. It’s impossible to maintain seriousness in a candlelit tub of water. The cold air was tickling my cheek, but as I moved my neck I could feel the hot water loosening up the muscles a bit. I began to have some confidence that I might indeed, live through the night. My eyes began to open eventually, and I had to look it up.

From the Latin, ridiculus, laughable, literally from ridEre, to laugh. At least now I can smile about it, and try to go back to sleep, after writing this ridiculous blog entry. Hey, at least it wasn’t about another word that begins with F.