Looking forward.

Waking up after the sun goes down

One of the best New Year’s I’ve had in a while. Now, I look around the place and realize that I have far too much to accomplish and too little time. There isn’t much need for a year in review, because it’s all here lurking in the archives of oblivion. And that’s where they should be, really, because “the best impetus for moving forward is to have something to run away from” (Eric Hoffer, loosely paraphrased). But to be completely honest, that isn’t really the case this year, and I’m happy about that.

With help, I’ve managed to avoid being excessively maudlin (I think, anyway) and have had lots of good stuff to concentrate on in the now rather than the then. But history is always a part of us, and can’t be ignored. Sometimes I wonder if its all a dream, as things tend to merge together and transform in the present, and I increasingly think that while detachment is needed to deal with the past, it’s not detachment from the past, but from the present that allows the past to make sense. Everything is unique; it’s not the same as it once was. Experience changes everything.

I’m flattered that there are a few people out there who enjoy reading these changes. I know that the process of trying to write something at least vaguely interesting each day has changed me. Writing is a good thing, especially when it captures this process of discovery. I won’t say that I’m “unfolding” but my writing certainly exposes a few of the wrinkles. I don’t think that it’s a good analogy, because that would imply that when everything is said and done, I’ll be flat. I seek to avoid that at all costs. If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that I can be pretty convoluted. I plan to stay that way. And I plan to keep writing about the thoughts that cross those convolutions each day.

So, no year in review. Just an anxious looking forward, hopefully to better things.

Writing this song won’t take very long
Trying not to use the world “old”
Thinking about taking chances and doubts
That still linger in the cold

Looking forward, all that I can see
Is good things happening to you and to me
I’m not waiting for times to change
I’m gonna live like a free-roaming soul

Neil Young, “Looking Forward”