strike the pose

strike the pose, underneath the all you can eat sign

I’ve just found one of the most pathetic sites I’ve ever seen. While I wasn’t looking for a good man, contains an online book written by a single man who purports to tell you how to find your perfect mate. Of course, he’s still looking so the strategy couldn’t have worked too well for him. He’s striking the pose, complete with a “Where’s Waldo” site design that is proud to say that no one has ever found all the pages. It contains everything I hate in web design: scrolling status windows, embedded audio files, fat cursive fonts, animated gifs, etc. Channeling Dan Ackroyd, it’s truly, truly bad.

Why do people pose? I’ve never figured that out. Specifically choosing the most unflattering light, people ape some mythic pose that is supposed to say “you want me.” It’s sad, really.

The saddest thing about “the good man” is that he thinks writing self-help books makes him a novelist. I suppose there are worse jobs than writing cheesy self-help books. It’s a Living tells the story of people who work as sewer cleaners, fat-suckers, dog-masturbators, etc., and like it. I suppose some people enjoy striking the pose as well. It pays very well, if you’re one of the beautiful.

But most of us aren’t. We’re stuck with who we are. As Frank Zappa observed, There’s more of us ugly motherfuckers than you, so watch out. Careful where you surf, you never know what you’ll find.