Happy

I really must take note of something.

I meant to do this days ago. In a Dark Time paused for a moment from his fantastic poetic explorations to remark:

Increasingly in our society people need to feel “popular” to be happy. Some seem to even feel a need to attain their “15 minutes of fame.” They will do anything to be noticed, to be “somebody.” If they produce a blog and are desperate enough, their blog might very well become “popular,” or at least get an amazing number of hits. Does that mean that their life “doesn’t suck?” Does this kind of popularity have any meaning at all, except, perhaps, to confirm that an amazing number of people have bad taste?

On the other hand, another person might produce a web page that appeals to a limited audience. As a result, the page gets only a limited number of hits, but it draws the people the blogger was looking for. Does that mean that his life “sucks?” As far as I am concerned, if the person has produced the page he wants to produce, it doesn’t require a certain number of hits to validate the worth of that page. As Emerson says, “The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”

There was a piece by Emerson I wanted to revisit, and use to expand on his argument, but I don’t have a copy around the house. Before the entry scrolled into oblivion I just had to offer an amen. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see myself linked from many outstanding blogs, and what a treat it is to read them each day.

My site traffic has virtually doubled in the last month. This means that it’s gone from next to nothing to almost something. The majority don’t say anything at all, but a few people have made me feel really good about keeping up with this blogging stuff.

I’ve offered the clarification before, but this isn’t strictly an academic blog. I write about what I’m thinking mostly, and a good portion of that might be considered academic. I don’t think of it that way really. I just think of it as human. I get lonely and I whine in a way that would be totally out of place in an academic setting. Someday, I may split things up but for now I’ve decided to keep the mix of personal and scholarly. Because after all, that’s who I am.

I’m not sure what “I’m looking for” in the way of an audience, I only know that I have really enjoyed coming into contact with people and ideas that otherwise might be missed. I don’t think I was “looking for validation” when I started this thing, just hoping to make a few friends. And I have.

For example, I really want to thank Michele Zappavigna for e-mailing me with the address for her poems. They were a wonderful break for me, and a breath of fresh air when I was feeling a little stale. I encourage people to give them a look.

I really do think that blogging is a good thing, and I want to continue to focus on those great people out there that always give me good things to think about. I wish I had more time to write more interesting stuff, but I want to take advantage of what little time I have to fix this moment, which is a good one for me. It’s a time that I feel like I’m doing something good, and that people care.

When my brain chemistry flips and that feeling fades away, at least I can look into my archives and see that occasionally, I was happy.