school & online writing

I felt like I was getting brushed off anytime I ran into someone I knew. Maybe it was me. But then again, it would be nice to feel like you didn't have to make an appointment to talk to someone. I always feel like I'm imposing, distracting people from something they'd rather be doing. It would be nice to feel like someone actually wanted to talk to me.

Writing online is a way of getting around those feelings. People are free to click away, to stop reading whenever they choose. I do my best to be interesting, but I know I'm not always. You can skim and forget; I must admit that I'm jealous of all those web people who seem to be happy all the time. I seem to have two modes: obsessed or morose. Happy just doesn't factor into it much. Of the two, obviously, I prefer obsessed. That's why I like school. It gives me plenty to obsess about.

The scary thing is that I received an e-mail today from another Arkansan that I may meet someday on a professional level. I see why people censor their blogs, worrying about what people they actually know might think of them. I refuse to do that. I started this to write each day and to become more comfortable with writing. If I start not writing about things that are important to me for fear that I'll put myself in a bad light, it defeats the purpose. The purpose of saying what I feel, in print— because I seldom get the chance to in person. People get enough of me real fast.

Around here, relief is just a click a way. You don't hurt my feelings if you brush me off that way. When you invite me to introduce myself, and then interrupt me three times during the first sentence to chastise me to be brief, well, that hurts.